I told you I needed more Mel so, as promised, Chris delivers….
THINGS I HATE ABOUT THE DRAFT KNOW-IT-ALL
All of the things I hate about Mel Kiper, Jr.
1) For every 10 seconds Mel Kiper’s mouth is open, a child in Africa gets malaria. It’s a shame his mouth is never shut.
2) He voted for George W. Bush…twice.
3) He supplied Barry Bonds with steroids.
4) He said that Sandlot was a terrible movie, and thought Bewitched was funny.
5) He went green for Earth week, even though the amount of hairspray he uses to keep his hair down is one of the major contributors of pollution in the US.
6) He was blowing out birthday candles just as Scott Norwood went to kick in SB XXV . Since so much air was released from his head, a strong gust caused the kick to go wide right. Even worse, it wasn’t his birthday.
7) He is a Clippers fan
He picked North Carolina to win the NCAA Basketball Championship
9) He has a poodle with pink bows in its hair
10) MTV’s The Hills was Kiper’s idea
11) He introduced Roger Clemens to Mindy McCready
12) He challenged Chuck Norris to a fight
13) He pronounced Houshmanzadeh wrong at his fantasy football draft
14) Kiper attends private services with Barack’s pastor
15) He took the racy pics of Miley Cyrus
16) He voted for Sanjaya, multiple times a night
As you can see, there are so many things to hate about Mel Kiper, Jr. For lack of a better term, he is a D- BAG!!! I can’t wait until Todd McShay takes his job over.
***special author’s note: none of these are factually true, but Mel Kiper is such a piece of crap I wouldn’t be surprised if he did.
Blogmasters Note: Thanks Chris, next time don’t hold back. I’d like to encourage the other bloggers to post some fond Mel thoughts as well…
Kiper/McShay Trade:
