I told you I needed more Mel so, as promised, Chris delivers….
THINGS I HATE ABOUT THE DRAFT KNOW-IT-ALL
All of the things I hate about Mel Kiper, Jr.
1) For every 10 seconds Mel Kiper’s mouth is open, a child in Africa gets malaria. It’s a shame his mouth is never shut.
2) He voted for George W. Bush…twice.
3) He supplied Barry Bonds with steroids.
4) He said that Sandlot was a terrible movie, and thought Bewitched was funny.
5) He went green for Earth week, even though the amount of hairspray he uses to keep his hair down is one of the major contributors of pollution in the US.
6) He was blowing out birthday candles just as Scott Norwood went to kick in SB XXV . Since so much air was released from his head, a strong gust caused the kick to go wide right. Even worse, it wasn’t his birthday.
7) He is a Clippers fan
He picked North Carolina to win the NCAA Basketball Championship
9) He has a poodle with pink bows in its hair
10) MTV’s The Hills was Kiper’s idea
11) He introduced Roger Clemens to Mindy McCready
12) He challenged Chuck Norris to a fight
13) He pronounced Houshmanzadeh wrong at his fantasy football draft
14) Kiper attends private services with Barack’s pastor
15) He took the racy pics of Miley Cyrus
16) He voted for Sanjaya, multiple times a night
As you can see, there are so many things to hate about Mel Kiper, Jr. For lack of a better term, he is a D- BAG!!! I can’t wait until Todd McShay takes his job over.
***special author’s note: none of these are factually true, but Mel Kiper is such a piece of crap I wouldn’t be surprised if he did.
Blogmasters Note: Thanks Chris, next time don’t hold back. I’d like to encourage the other bloggers to post some fond Mel thoughts as well…
Kiper/McShay Trade:
maryt4905 said
Chris, you scare me now even more than I am afraid you will correct my grammer or spelling, I will sleep with one eye open tonight. God speed…
ur Mom
Todd McShay said
OMG THIS IS THE BEST BLOG EVER!!! THIS KID DESERVES A STAR ON THE WALK OF FAME JUST FOR THIS!!!
chris said
haha, im sry but i find it hilarious that u spelled grammar wrong, hahaha thats crazy
maryt4905 said
chris please watch the language, this is supposed to be a g-rated blog, and i would appreciate it if you didnt see the d-word
dgoodz2993 said
oh sorry that above comment was me! i forgot to change the name!
dgoodz2993 said
CORRECTION in my 1st comment- “i would apreciate it if you didnt USE the d-word”
thank you for your patience
Don Burtless said
I am completely OK with the use of the word douche bag, in fact I think it should be used more in casual conversation. Also the list was pretty funny.
chris said
thanks donnie, i agree with both of ur statements
maryt4905 said
barry, we need more of you, just like u need more mel..inspire us pleeease!!!
nagfooki said
BARRY! BARRY! BARRY!
Show us pictures of what you are having for dinner.
I want to see more food.
BARRY! BARRY! BARRY!
hey! what’s with the psychedelic amish quilt icons?
does it have something to do with the douche-bags?
Don Burtless said
hey, don’t knock the food blogs, they are a valuable resource to people wondering what they should have for dinner. i like the icons.
Stereopticon said
Somehow i missed the point. Probably lost in translation
Anyway … nice blog to visit.
cheers, Stereopticon.
cgoody said
if u enjoyed the randomness, check out wegotthegoodz.wordpress.com
Mark Goodwin said
Whoo what a blog